Hello again, Blog-reader. It's April Fools Day! So here's how not to run your April Fools Day.
I wake up this morning, and I realize that it's way too early. Then I realize that I was the one who set my alarm to go off at that ridiculous hour of the night. Not a good start. Don't do that.
I wake up again after a crazy and amazing dream, only to realize that I overslept drastically. (That's an extremely bad idea on April Fools Day. Don't do it. On second thought, don't sleep at all on April Fools Day. It's safer.)
I then start doing some last-minute scheming. Lousy idea. If you're going to prank anyone, plan several weeks in advance. Last-minute pranks are always either lousy or mean.
By the way, never do a mean prank. Get someone soaking wet? Sure, why not. Get someone soaking wet on their way out the door to that all-important interview? Better not. That's how you get hurt. And if your prank injures anyone, chances are that you'll be the one going bankrupt over the doctor's bill.
So, back to my day. I bring Mom her spiced tea, the way I do every morning. Only it's not tea today, it's coffee with enough orange juice and cinnamon to make it look and smell like her tea. I also make her a cup of her real tea as a conciliating gesture. I mean, really, how can she murder me if I'm already bring her her real tea? I then find out that she talked my little sister into bringing her some tea, so I'll have to wait for her to finish her first cup off before she tastes mine. By then her real tea will be cold, giving her about thirty seconds to come find me before I can give it to her. Things are rapidly going downhill.
I then decide that, since I'm about to die anyways, I might as well prank Mom twice. So I start sending her blank texts. She yells, "Laura, you're pocket-texting again!" (My phone pocket-dials, takes pocket-pictures, pocket-texts.... Sigh. Once it even called 911, but I won't go into that now.) I send her at least seven messages before I get tired of it and tell her what I did.
She sighs and tells me that it wasn't really funny. I then turn to leave, and she jokingly asks me, "Is that real tea?"
WHAT? NOOO! My best practical joke in years, and I ruin it because of a boring one? NOOOOOOOOOOO!
But I have to answer her, and I can't lie! Lying makes me feel like I just rolled in a sewer. It's awful. So I tell her the truth. Sigh.
Now I wasted a prank that she says would have been funny for one that wasn't. Sigh. Pick and choose your pranks. You never know what might happen.
So then I prank her one last time.... I do all the dishes, tell her it was my little sisters who did it, and hope she thinks she's gone crazy. She doesn't. Sigh.
And then I realize I lied. April Fools Day isn't much fun anymore. At least, not until I tell her the truth. So I finally do, then spend the rest of my time writing a blog post. I can't decide whether it's a waste of time or not. Oh well. You decide for me. And don't tell me it was if it wasn't, because by the time you comment, April Fools Day will most likely be over and you won't have any excuse. Sorry about that, by the way.
Laura
